How do I pray when I don’t know what to say?

What prayer is not

It is not a performance. It is not a formula you have to recite correctly or fail. It is not reserved for good people.

Jesus was explicit about this: there is no need to pile up words to be heard, “your Father knows what you need before you ask him” (Matthew 6:7-8). And the story he tells to illustrate real prayer features a man who does not dare lift his eyes and says seven words: “God, have mercy on me, a sinner” (Luke 18:13). It is that man, Jesus says, who goes home right with God.

Start with one sentence

Truly, one is enough. “God, here I am.” “I don’t know whether you exist, but I need help.” “Thank you for today.”

If you have never prayed, start there. Today, one sentence.

Four movements to give it shape

When one sentence is no longer enough, this simple frame helps a lot of people:

• Thank you — name one specific thing. Not “thanks for everything”: “thank you for my brother’s phone call”.
• Sorry — say honestly what needs to change. Without crushing yourself; God does not need you to grovel before he will listen.
• Help — your needs, and other people’s. Name the people.
• Listen — two minutes of silence, or a few lines of a gospel. Prayer is not only a monologue.

Ten minutes is plenty. Five minutes every day beats an hour once a month.

The model Jesus gave

When his disciples asked him to teach them to pray, he did not give them a lecture: he gave them a short prayer, the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). It fits in five sentences and already contains everything — God’s presence, his kingdom, today’s bread, forgiveness given and received, protection.

You can pray it slowly, stopping on each line. Many Christians have done so for twenty centuries and have not exhausted it.

When no words come

It happens, and often in the heaviest moments. Silence is then a prayer in its own right.

You can also repeat a few words, the way you hold a handrail: “Lord Jesus, have mercy on me.” “Father, I put my trust in you.” It is not an incantation; it is a way of staying there.

And if truly nothing comes, the Bible says the Spirit prays in our place, “with groanings too deep for words” (Romans 8:26). In other words: your inability to pray cuts you off from nothing.

What helps over time

• A fixed moment, however short, rather than waiting to feel like it.
• A notebook to write down what you ask for. Reading it again six months later is often striking.
• Praying with others, which teaches you faster than anything else.

If you would like someone to pray for you, write to us. You do not have to explain any more than you want to.